The Bonds That Break
by SgtPepper592
Summary: Some bonds, when tried and tested, become stronger. Others are not meant to last forever. Pre-Deathly Hallows. Complete.


A/N: This is my story of Lily and Petunia. It was originally meant to be three parts, and I posted the first one a few weeks ago, but then I had to take it down because I realized that I had posted the wrong version, and the one I had posted was missing a vital part. Then I decided to post the whole thing together. Also, I know that Lily is a muggleborn, but in this story I made her have a magical relative. This is because, while I do have a theory pertaining to how muggleborn witches and wizards find out about the wizarding world, it's long and complicated, and would take me a while to explain. I think it would end up becoming a large part of this story, and that's not what I want the focus of it to be. One last thing, the story is told from Petunia's point of view. The parts that aren't (they're in italics) are flashbacks. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter; it all belongs to the wonderfully talented J.K. Rowling.

Lily. Every time I hear the name it brings back a flood of memories. I hear it on the street, in the shopping mall, on the underground. The only place I don't like hearing it is at home. At home, I have to pretend to hate her. Or hate her memory at least. But I don't, not really. It's him I hate. He took her away. He got her mixed up in that war. If she hadn't married him, then she never would have died.

Lily and I weren't only sisters, we were best friends. Before we started school, we were inseparable. Our mother put the two of us into ballet classes when we were three. Lily instantly took to it. I, on the other hand, didn't exactly have the necessary grace for ballet. So while Lily continued with it, I started to play the piano. Even though I was only playing songs like Hot Cross Buns back then, my teacher told me that I had a natural talent for it. She could have just been saying that to be nice, but I really believed her, and I stuck with it. Piano and ballet turned out to be the only things that Lily and I did separately back then. Together, we did everything that normal five-year-olds do. We played with dolls, played dress up, and loved being taken to the park to play on the swings. One of the things that we particularly enjoyed was listening to fairy tales. Every night we would beg our parents to read us one. Lily and I both liked to pretend that we were fairy princesses, mermaids, or witches.

I, of course, started primary school before Lily. The two of us hated being separated. I went off to school, and Lily would wait all day for me to get home. At school, I didn't really get along well with the other kids that first year. Every time I met a nice little boy or girl, I would talk their ear off about my wonderful younger sister.

Once Lily started school the following year, things began to look up. We were never in the same class, but we were never apart at lunch hour and recess. What started then is what I look at as the best years of my life. We had each other, and we had no worries. Lily danced, and I played the piano. And so we passed the next years of our lives, until the next inevitable split.

When I finished primary school, I had no idea that the last year Lily and would ever spend in the same school was over as well. Our mother had wanted the two of us to attend a boarding school, as she had when she was a girl. She thought it was the best thing for us. Of course, it was unthinkable to send me a year before Lily. So they decided that I would attend the local school for a year, until Lily was old enough to go too. Little did I know that it would never happen.

_"Wasn't it nice?" Lily asked Petunia, as she flopped onto her bed. The two sisters had just returned from their cousin's wedding, which took place on the last weekend before school started up again._

_"It was beautiful." Petunia replied, "I want a wedding just like that when I grow up."_

_"Me too," Lily declared. "And you can be my maid-of-honour, and I'll be yours." _

_"Of course," Petunia replied in a very matter-of-fact voice. _

_"We'll still be friends then, won't we Petunia?" Lily asked fearfully after a minute, breaking the silence that had followed Petunia's comment. She was very worried that things would change between them when Petunia started her new school._

_"We're sisters, Lily, so we'll always know each other," Petunia responded, by way of answering._

_"But I don't mean just know each other, I want us to promise that we'll still be best friends."_

_"Forever, Lily." Petunia finished._

Maybe I wasn't right about the 'forever' part, but I was right when I assured her that things wouldn't change that year. They continued much as they had before. School got more time-consuming, and of course, Lily still danced, and I still played the piano. By then, I could play pieces by Mozart, Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, and Bach. I filled our house with music, which was something that Lily loved. We both had recitals, and I don't think I ever saw our parents prouder than when watching us perform all those years ago. Like I said before, it was the best time of my life.

That all changed very quickly. One day in July, when Lily was eleven, she received a letter delivered by an owl. It was from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It turned out that Lily was a witch, like, as our father later informed us, his great-grandmother had been. Lily couldn't wait for the end of the summer so she could go off and learn magic, just like the two of us had wished for all those years ago. I, on the other hand, was dreading it. Lily was too excited to realize that she was about to head down a path that I could never follow.

All too soon, I was saying goodbye to Lily as she clambered aboard a scarlet steam engine. As I waved the train carrying my sister out of the station, I wasn't only saying goodbye to Lily, I was waving goodbye to our friendship. I knew that things could never be the same again; it was the beginning of the end of our relationship.

_September 2nd, 1971_

_Dear Petunia,_

_I can't believe I'm here! I feel like I'm living in a dream. We spent all day yesterday on the train and arrived here in the evening. After we got here, were immediately taken to the Great Hall to be sorted into houses. There are four of them: Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. And, get this, we were sorted by hat! First it sang a song, and then we all had to go up in front of the whole school and put it on so it could call out what house we belong in. I'm in Gryffindor. There are eight more first year Gryffindors. Four girls, Alice, Aimie, Isabelle, and Emmeline, and four boys, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. The girls all seem really nice, but the boys are already getting on my nerves. They've all felt compelled already to make some smart comment about my hair. Even Remus and Peter, who seem much shier than James and Sirius._

_We had our first classes today. Charms, Transfiguration, Potions, and History of Magic. The first three seem really hard, but Charms looks like it will be fun at the same time. History of Magic looks really boring though. The most exciting part of it is that the teacher, Professor Binns, is a ghost._

_There's so much more I want to tell you; everything's so different from home. The pictures move, and the food appears on plates as if by magic (haha, I can't believe I just wrote that, see how weird everything is for me?) Anyway, it's been a really long day, and the teachers have already assigned us homework. But I promise that I'll write again really soon. There's more I think you would love to hear about. I hope your first day was just as great as mine was,_

_Love from,_

_Lily __  
__XOXO_

Lily arrived home that summer full of exciting stories. She'd made new friends and learned so much about a world that we never even knew existed growing up. But Lily was faced with a rather large dilemma. She now belonged in two completely different worlds. I think she knew that the wizarding world would eventually become her real home, so she tried to leave behind as much of the old as she could. She did that by giving up ballet. Other than her family, dance was all she really had left that didn't belong at Hogwarts. Lily also confided in me that she didn't feel like she needed to dance anymore. She said that she had real magic to make up for the magic that she had once found in dancing. So, without too many tears, she packed up her ballet slippers, leotards, tutus, and tights. She stowed them in the back of her closet, not to be seen again until she moved out, after she finished school. Instead, she threw all of her efforts into studying. Apparently, they gave a lot of summer homework at Hogwarts.

Lily giving up dance turned out not to be the only thing that was different that summer. Over the year, Lily and I had both grown up a lot. Most of that probably came from spending the year away from home. The two of us both found it difficult to slip back into the roles we had occupied a year ago. Both of us tried to ignore this, as we didn't want to acknowledge the fact that our perfect friendship might be falling apart. So we tried to carry on as best we could, and did everything that we had done the previous summer. We went swimming at Gould Park a lot, biked, and often walked to the air-conditioned library on hot summer days. And I, once again, filled the house with the sounds of Mozart and Beethoven. I didn't have what Lily had; I still had to make my own magic.

All too soon, the summer was over, and Lily and I had to leave again. After that, the summers all seem to blend into one another in my memory. There are moments that stand out. When Lily found out she was the new Head Girl, when she got her OWL results, the day I won a big piano competition, and the summer our mother died. At that time, I was trying to master the _Moonlight Sonata; _a piece I'd always loved, but never played. It's melancholy strains perfectly suited both mine and Lily's moods that summer. And somehow, we both managed to find a little comfort in it.

_September 10th, 1975_

_Dear Petunia,_

_I can't believe the summer is over already and I'm back at Hogwarts. It's great to see everyone after the summer, but it's just as much work as ever. At the end of the year will be out OWL exams, so of course the teachers are already stressing the importance this year will have on the rest of our lives. I hate how they talk about the future so much. I'm still having trouble even thinking about what next week will be like, never mind a few years from now. Although, I'm finding that things are finally getting easier, especially now that I'm back at school. I miss her less, because I'm used to her not being around while I'm here. But I don't even want to think about what next summer will be like. What would you say if I decided to stay here for Christmas? I know you'll say that I'm running away, but I'm really not, Petunia. If I stayed I could get so much more studying done and...maybe I am running a little. I know that it'll only make next summer that much harder, but that seems so much further away. Anyway Petunia, I must get on top of this Transfiguration essay that's due tomorrow. Write back as soon as you can,_

_Love from,_

_Lily__  
__XOXO_

The following year, I graduated from school and decided to attend university in London. By then, Lily and I were still friends, but not nearly as close as we had once been. I missed my sister, and the relationship that we had had.

Lily graduated a year later. She had been Head Girl, and achieved high grades on her NEWTs. By that time, Lily was already dating James Potter. I didn't like him from the beginning. Lily had told me all about what he and his friends did, and I wasn't quite as willing as Lily was to give him a second chance.

She moved to London and got a job at the Ministry of Magic. The two of us always met for lunch on Saturdays, although we often saw each other at least one other time during the week as well. There was a lot going on in Lily's life back then. Her world was in the midst of a war, and her boyfriend was putting him right in the thick of things. Lily told me that he was training to be an Auror, which she explained to me was a dark wizard catcher. She was worried about him and the rest of her friends. On top of that, Lily herself had joined some kind of anti-dark side organization to help with the fight. I worried about her. I wanted to tell her to leave it all behind; I wanted her to run away. But I knew she never would, and I also knew the reason why. Lily was in love; head over heels in love. And for that I hated him even more. I knew that no good could ever come of that relationship. And in the end, I made her choose.

_"Petunia!" Lily yelled excitedly, while she pounded insistently on the door._

_Petunia inwardly laughed at her younger sister's antics. Sometimes, she thought, Lily could still act like a little kid. "Calm down, Lily. I'm coming," Petunia called, making her way towards the door._

_"Guess what?" Lily asked excitedly the second Petunia had swung it open._

_"Er...you...found - "_

_"James proposed! I'm engaged!" Lily cut in before her sister had a chance to finish her thought._

_"That's, uh, that's great, Lily." Petunia replied hesitantly, leading the way into the sitting room of her flat. The two sisters sat down, while Petunia tried to keep the smile from sliding off her face, and Lily surveyed Petunia with a puzzled look on hers._

_"What's wrong, Petunia?" Lily asked after a minute._

_"Nothing. It's great, I'm really happy for you, Lily."_

_Lily just stared at her for a minute, silently imploring her to tell her the truth. Petunia knew that she could never lie to those green eyes, and so she said what had been on her mind for ages._

_"It's just that...are you sure that this is what you really want, Lily? If you marry James, then think of what you'll be getting yourself into. You're already in over your head with this war, and you'll just be putting yourself in even more danger if you marry him. I'm worried about you, and I only want you to be happy," Petunia explained._

_Lily waited a minute before replying. She was a little angered at what Petunia had said, but knew this was no time to lose her temper. So she mentally counted to ten to calm herself before replying. "I get that, Petunia. But don't you want me to be happy? And nothing is safe anymore, not in my world. I'm not going to let this war interfere with my life more than it already has. I love James, and I want to marry him. I'm sorry if I worry you, but I can't let this control my life."_

_It killed Petunia to hear Lily say 'my world', as if they belonged on two separate planets. They'd grown up together, and shared almost everything. Petunia had no idea when exactly Lily had ceased completely to be a part of the world they'd grown up in, and adopted a new life that Petunia didn't quite fit into. What she did know was that she wanted her sister back, so when she finally spoke, she chose her words very carefully._

_"Why can't you just leave it all behind, Lily? You could belong in our world again, and you would be safe. We'd be best friends, and things could be the way they used to be. Before Hogwarts. Before James."_

_"I can't Petunia. You know that I can't run away. I have to many people who count on me, and I have too many friends fighting. I can't leave them to fight alone. And I can't leave James, because I don't think I could live without him," Lily explained to her sister, on the verge of tears._

_"But I don't think_ _I_ _can handle things being the way they are. I never know if you're hurt, alive, dying, dead. And that kills me, Lily. You're just going to get yourself in too deep, and make everything worse. You have to choose, Lily. You can't have both of us."_

_"Why are you making me do this?" Lily lashed out. "How can you expect me to choose between my sister and my fiancé?" Lily calmed down a little, "Please don't make me," Lily implored almost in tears._

_"You have to, Lily."_

I would never have said those things if I hadn't truly believed that she would choose me. I thought I knew my sister, and I really thought she would realize that everything I told her was true. I thought she would make the sensible, if not cowardly, choice. Maybe Lily figured that we would always be sisters, so we'd always be friends, just like I'd told her all those years ago. Or maybe she really was willing to give up everything for him. Now I'll never know. Lily and I never talked again after that. We began to live our lives separately. We both got married. Lily first, of course. I went to the ceremony; I snuck in late and sat at the back. I don't even think she knew I was there, but that's the way I wanted it to be. That's the way I needed it to be. It wasn't that long after that day, and I still missed her terribly. It was a hugely important day in my sister's life, and I felt that I couldn't miss it, even if I wasn't ready to talk to her yet. Soon after that, I met Vernon. I'm not sure that I ever really loved him, even back then. But I felt so alone without Lily that whatever it was, I was willing to take it. With Vernon, I created a life devoid of magic. I got rid of my piano. That was what I needed back then.

Vernon and I had been married for almost three years when I woke up on the day that changed my life forever. Dudley, our son, had woken me up early with his cries. When I finally got him back to sleep I went downstairs. I figured that I might as well start breakfast, even though it was early. I opened the door to get the milk from the porch and I saw something I never expected to see. There was a bundle of blankets sitting there. I soon registered that it must be a baby because I could see a tiny hand poking out. But whose? When I picked the little bundle up I knew. The baby had awoken, and he stared up at me with beautiful green eyes. Lily's eyes. I quickly brought Harry inside, and I noticed a letter tucked in the folds of the blankets. It was from Albus Dumbledore, and it explained to me that Lily had died, and that in order to keep her child safe I needed to take him in and raise him. I never even considered not keeping him, because I knew that if the situation were reversed, Lily would take care of my child in an instant. So when Vernon awoke and saw Harry, I explained to him that he was my sister's son, and we had to keep him from now on. Vernon argued, he wanted to send the boy to an orphanage. I put my foot down, even though I was wondering what kind of life I was setting Harry up for. I knew I could never love him. Already, at just over a year old, he reminded me too much of his father. And I hated him more than ever now that my worst fears had come to pass, exactly as I had warned Lily on that fateful long ago day.

Vernon left for work, and I put Harry upstairs with Dudley, who was still asleep. When I came back down, I picked up Dumbledore's letter and read it over again. My eyes began to well up as I read the part about Lily's death. Soon, I was sobbing. I cried for my sister, and for everything that I had lost. I wept for myself, because I knew then that my life could never be happy.

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